||[Sep. 16th, 2006[Snapshot Taken]01:13 am]
Make one and post it in a reply so that I can see what kind of love you generate...here's mine:|
My Mom took me to the Nortion Simon Museum in Pasadena today to distract me from thinking of Charlie. He told me that he didn't want me to go to Kaleb's funeral with him today because he said we should see each other, but at a time that was less sad. Although I agreed with him, I had to think: if he wanted me in his life, he would have wanted me there to help him through his time of need, instead of thinking I would be a distraction. So I didn't push any further. I am no longer calling him nor am I answering his text messages, although he has called twice and sent me a text saying he 'kind of wishes' I was with him today. Fuck that noise. I realized that all he gives me is pain, and I was a fool for staying.
As a final gesture, I'm mailing him a mask I bought for him a long time ago as a suprise along with his house keys. I once thought to have his house keys was special, but I realized more than anything that he didn't give anything I didn't take.
At the museum, I discovered an artist I liked very much, Edouard Vuillard, and I bought a print of his on sale for $5.
I'd forgotten how much I loved art, and all the things I'd be thinking if my relationships didn't consume me so much. Afterward, my Mom took me shopping at Loehman's for suits I can wear on my upcoming job interviews. Bless her heart for trying to help me through this heartbreak, and thank you all for your kindness and support.