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A Divine Comedy [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
[[The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly]]

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Nawlins [Mar. 27th, 2005[Snapshot Taken]06:53 pm]
It was another six hour flight, but we arrived in New Orleans (“Nawlins”) to the locals, on Sunday, March 20 at 5 pm; with just enough daylight to pick up our baby blue Toyota Camry and drive to the St. Pierre hotel. It was to be our first real family vacation since Europe in 2003; mostly due to the fact that we’d all been in different places with different schedules. Both my brother and I were pleasantly surprised at the way my Mom and Dad were getting along so well…we’d found the silver lining to my Dad’s unfortunate luck at work; adversity had brought the two of them closer together.

The air in New Orleans was noticeably more humid than California’s dry smoggy air, and it smelled differently, too. For one thing, everyone smoked anywhere they pleased—in restaurants, in malls, at the airport. This would make it difficult for me because my Mother and I made a deal that I would smoke only six cigarettes a day since I couldn’t quit. She’d hold onto my packs for me until I got the psychological help to defeat my demons and clean up my life. I felt guilty about asking my mom for my six cigarettes for the day, and guiltier still when I had to ask for just one more.

One thing she did say that made sense, though, was that I worked so hard to be in law school to become an attorney, but I couldn’t ever really be a good attorney until I took care of my physical and mental health as well. As it is, the six cigarettes a day are just enough to keep my addiction alive; and perhaps even worse than having as many as I pleased.

During our first day in New Orleans, we had our first encounter with Burbon Street, the infamous location for the Mardi-Gras and all night flesh-fests. Burbon was a 5 minute walk from our hotel, and instantly, there was the unmistakable sound of a crowd feeding on itself. We’d caught the tail end of Mardi-Gras, and insecure girls desperate for attention found solace in bearing their tits in socially acceptable Burbon fashion. Instantly, Karl hated the scene and withdrew deep inside himself; the only part of him still functional, his ever-searching ears for the sound of true straight-up jazz.

We're always looking for somethingCollapse )
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New Post [Feb. 24th, 2005[Snapshot Taken]03:02 pm]
My Dearest Friends:

I am currently working on my next post...so I haven't abandoned ship.
I just have lots to think about and school is driving me mad-hatters.
I will respond to your comments as soon as I catch my thoughts in a
large enough spiderweb.

Love, V
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Is this an Accurate Diagnosis, Doctor? [Jan. 25th, 2005[Snapshot Taken]12:50 pm]

Insanity Test
Your problem is Schizophrenia
Will you ever be cured? (8) - You may rely on it. - (8)
Just how crazy are you? - 79%
This cool quiz by insanitydefense - Taken 380593 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

Oh, is that my problem? *Beh*
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Orange in the Blue Rain Part I [Oct. 19th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]05:22 pm]
With my midterm in less than 1 week, the rain came at such an inopportune moment because I vowed to take pictures in it. I photographed over 112 shots in over four outfits. They say in one roll of 32 shots, you'll have only one good picture, and this is proving quite true.

Here is a sneak preview of my 'orange' series. I feel like I still need to tweak the colors a bit, but let me know what you think!

I was in a ditch. After this shot was taken, I slid very far down and got my dress all dirty.
Sunflower in my Blue HeavenCollapse )
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The Mad Hatter's Teaparty and What Happened There [Oct. 11th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]12:54 pm]
As part of my Mother's assignment to me and my first baby steps toward health, I had to find cheap Therapy. So I went to my first Emotions Anonymous meeting. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but my Beverly Hills Psychiatrist's recommendation couldn't be far from wrong. Obviously, he had never been to a meeting...

I instantly felt like an impostor. Everyone was almost twice my age and over half of them on welfare or section 8 housing. Heading the gala was a Chasidic Jew named "Rainbow Jim" *(names changed for anonymity). He started off the meeting with a chant that everyone knew by heart and stole furtive glances at me demanding with his eyes that I follow along so I moved my lips in sync with their last words. The secretary felt very angry that day, and refused to give me any of the literature so that I could follow along. The time-keeper felt "very frightened" and stood alone in the corner. The only thing I heard from him throughout the rest of the meeting were the little beeps of ten minute intervals he used to keep people from running over time. None of them paid any attention to even these meek little sounds.

Their stories broke my heart. Rainbow started talking about his past and how he used to take LSD trips, (4 of them psychotic) and divulged that he was a schizophrenic who believed that he could talk to computers just by changing around their screen resolutions. I wanted so badly to ask them questions, or pick their hearts up off the floor, but none of them interrupted each other's stories or asked anything--everyone just threw out their stories and then we would all clap, like it was a performance...like we were watching a car wreck, but instead of helping each other, just clapped... "I am going to get thrown out of my house because my landlord doesn't want to have someone who is crazy living there, so I got evicted, and now I am homeless which makes me crazier than I already am..." Then we'd look at each other and clap.
Bottoms upCollapse )
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The Obedient Chicken~Have Him Your Way! [Oct. 4th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]10:48 am]
Too bad the man of my dreams is an Obedient Chicken!
Now that's some Cock!
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Blue Fairy, Can you make me into a Real Girl? [Sep. 24th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]01:58 pm]
When life throws me a pitch,
I swing...
I'm better under pressure.
I'm capable of teaching 8th and 9th graders
and helping pass bills into law
in patent leather heels
109 degree weather melting make-up into my eyes;
so why should law school be different?

Balancing Charlie's infancy and Kirk's late night phone calls (plus inevitable squabbles) with school and AIM is challenging, to say the least.
But I'm glad to have made contact with at least a few of you
and so I know you better...
I've even managed to buy into another addiction; Candybardolls:

They're supposed to be of me.
Do you think they look like me?

Do you love them more than you love me?Collapse )
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treasure hunt [Sep. 20th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]12:35 pm]
fervently she whispered to herself
shook herself straight...
damn it, why don't you wake up?
poor girl, she's been invisible to herself
all her life
looking for a mirror until she found
voices that would lie to her and tell her
what she wanted to hear and she would
feed them stories
not knowing whether they were true or false
but talking anyhow because she wanted so
badly to exist.

i love you, even though i've never met you
and i'm sorry
for everything i have done or not done
that hasn't been deserving of applause
we're all on stage,
marionettes to our past
blindly stumbling into future
our strings entwining into the others'
but did i tell you how glad i am to be
connected to you
please don't let go or else i think
i may fall...we're all
some of us red because we're inside out

if you met me, i wonder if you'd
recognize who i was
because if you think my pictures
are distracting
you should be with the real thing
hear the real thing
see the real thing so animated!
drawing comparisons between herself and
caged birds
while flying above it all

and i don't mean to leave i don't mean
to hide i don't mean to run
but then, what are my legs for?
i'm in training for a marathon making myself
a good athlete
for the prize of life

my doctor did his job. i can't feel a thing
if we were all given a task at first, and this was
to 'go find ourselves'
the cruelest treasure hunt;
i've never liked those--never saw the point
of running like animals for the enjoyment
of the ones who hid the goods and your friends
they turn to enemies if you don't run
fast enough...

i'd be tearing at myself in frustration
ripping out my eyes pulling at my tongue
squeezing it tasting raw fingerless bones
until one day
i was drugged
and now it's like trying to find that coin
buried under the sand but
why, sweeting, did you take the batteries out
of my metal detector?
i forgive you, i forgive myself
maybe i'm just a fool
and i don't mind being judged
because i used to get awards for
just this kind of a thing
and i swear i wouldn't take it personal anyway
because i'm not really even sure
if it is me.
♥ ♥ ♥
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AIM [Sep. 15th, 2004[Snapshot Taken]01:47 am]
Okay. I took a poll of my friends and family and most use AIM.
My new AIM screen name is Paperdo77.
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I might just use this... [Sep. 2nd, 2004[Snapshot Taken]01:30 pm]
Which Depressed Icon Is You? by drunkaholic
Your Icon
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Guys...I need your opinions! Look at the cheesy icon I chose. I like it because it is sappy and makes me smile...does it turn you off?
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